Rene Plowman proudly wears a t-shirt to get people talking about suicide.
Rene Plowman proudly wears a t-shirt to get people talking about suicide. Facebook Rene Plowman with permi

A mother's 'guilt': my son killed himself

THE mother of a young man who took his own life has spoken for the first time how she struggles to live with the 'guilt'.

The body of Rene Plowman's son, Camerin Hallam was found in bush land near the family's Sippy Downs home on March 7. It was the day after his 20th birthday.


Camerin Hallam
Camerin Hallam Rene Plowman

Ms Plowman had spent two desperate months searching for Camerin, who was last seen leaving home on a bicycle on January 3.

There were no suspicious circumstances.

Ms Plowman has spoken how she has coped with the grief of losing her child and her amazing employers, Kristy and Malcolm Coote from Sunshine Coast Property Rentals, who have helped her through.

She also believed it was time people started talking openly about suicide in the hopes it would prevent another tragic death.

Ms Plowman's first husband, Camerin's father, took his own life when Camerin was only three.

She never expected it would happen to her son.

"I never thought Camerin would do this," she said.

"Even with him living under my roof, I was not aware that was how he was feeling.

"I knew he was down, but not to that extent."


Camerin Hallam
Camerin Hallam Rene Plowman

With the support of her employers, she has joined a Suicide Support Group.

At her first session, on June 5, more than 20 people were in the room.

Ms Plowman said the overwhelming feeling with many who had experienced suicide other than grief was one of guilt

"It is a traumatic event, it not only the death of my son, there is the trauma of it being suicide that is overwhelming," she said.

"There are so many unanswered questions, which brings upon it guilt. You think 'if only I'd done this, if only I'd called him that day...



Rene Plowman's picture tribute to her son.
Rene Plowman's picture tribute to her son. Facebook Rene Plowman with permi

Ms Plowman said reaching out for support was the "one thing that helps you get through".

Her three children from her first marriage had been to counselling when their father died, but it "shaped them growing up".

Camerin was the youngest of the three.

"They went through counselling and everything," she said.

"It impacts them at different stages of their life. Camerin was the youngest. We didn't focus so much on him, I didn't think he was affected."

Ms Plowman said it was time people started talking about suicide.

"We need to break the stigma, we need people talking about it and we need action."

And she said it needed to start in school.

"We have to be getting the message across in school," she said.

Ms Hallam would always be grateful to her employers and the rest of the Sunshine Coast who supported her after Camerin's death.

She had only worked at the rental business for a year, but after Camerin's death they "went out and got me groceries and started a Gofundme page which paid for the funeral".

"I have so many people to thank, but I can't thank my employers enough. They are amazing."

If you or someone else you know needs help, contact Lifeline on 131114.