An unsolicited text message from Clive Palmer.
An unsolicited text message from Clive Palmer. Jarrard Potter

OPINION: Please don't text me Clive

FOR someone who has their phone close-by at all times, I receive surprisingly few text messages, and what messages I do receive are either from my Behind the Desk sparring partner Moose to see if I want a coffee in the morning, or from my mobile service provider telling me I've used too much data because I forgot to turn my Wi-Fi on at home. Again.

So when my phone buzzed yesterday afternoon, the last thing I expected to see was wannabe politician Clive Palmer trying to slide into my DMs.

The message read: "When elected, United Australia Party will ban unsolicited political text messages which Labor and Liberal have allowed".

The hypocrisy of sending an unsolicited text to decry unsolicited texts aside, and the assumption of "when elected" rather than "if", made me laugh in disbelief.

It's not the worst unsolicited text I've received (or sent for that matter) but still, not on Clive. Well, in the words of one of Clive's newest fans Dee Snider, we're not going to take it anymore.

While he might think he is a comedic genius using outdated meme formats about Tim Tam slams, we're not laughing with him, we're laughing at him. Besides, the joke is about as funny as seeing unpaid Queensland Nickel workers. Perhaps Clive should stay out of politics and stick to what he is good at, whatever that is.