Why I’ll never dress up as Santa
The Sunday before Christmas, I turned up at Nippers at Alex and immediately got hit up to be Santa for the last nipper day of the year as somehow it had been overlooked.
Of course the real deal was busy at the North Pole getting ready for his annual world tour.
Just on that, did you know a deer expert has identified that all Santa's deer are female, which explains why they can find their way around the globe without a GPS or a blow up with the driver or passengers.
A little history on Santas at Alex.
One year the guy that did the job had been to his work Christmas party and was slightly hungover.
It was about 100C and he was in his suit sitting in a inflatable rescue boat and the motor wouldn't start after they had sat out the back in the blazing sun for about 10 minutes.
Needless to say Santa spewed over the side of the boat and looked decidedly peaky when mobbed by 600 children when they eventually hit the beach.
Then there was our Masters Multiple World Champion veteran who did it one year and could be described as quite opinionated - probably because he is a dual member with Mooloolaba?
Anyway he didn't need any instructions about being a passenger/ crew member of the inflatable rescue boat dressed as Santa with a sack full of lollies and was all fine until he fell out of the boat and his sack filled with water.
This was pretty funny until the children realised all their lollies were ruined and we had to get security to keep Santa safe.
Then there was me, who one year in a club promo got sledged by a customer because I was buggering up the pronunciation of some of the names I was reading off a list without my glasses on.
Eventually him and Santa had to be separated so I barred myself forever from donning the red suit.
So last Sunday, when I realised they didn't have a suit, lollies or a sack I quickly volunteered to try and find something at 8am if they could get someone to be Santa, which they did, when they found an unsuspecting Kiwi.
I rang the Reject Shop and got a lovely lady who said she would put a suit at the front counter, so I looked at the address on the website - Horton Parade.
Instantly thinking I know where that is I set off without out my phone.
Two laps around Maroochydore in a panic and I can't find it.
Because I am a man I didn't ask anyone and remember I couldn't phone a friend.
Back to work sweating bullets and time running out I look again, The Plaza is where it is - a place I have barred myself from.
At 62 I learnt something - Horton Parade is actually Aerodrome Rd and just turns into Horton Pde when you go around the corner.
No sign nothing. Lucky I am not reindeer?
Eventually I found the Reject Shop after running a marathon from the other side of the Plaza - of course I parked in the wrong carpark.
But from the time I walked into the shop it all came together because the lady I had spoken to had it waiting at the counter.
They then helped me get lollies, sack and actually helped me pack it up so it was ready to hand over to Kiwi Santa, outstanding service. A happy ending, have a happy holiday all.